


Smoke 'Em Out

by enbyred



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Bad Matchmaking, Crack, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Gen, Humor, Matchmaking, also sorry i'm so bad at akuma names, oh look alix makes the mayor establish a law, pls enjoy this nonsense, she's a chaotic, terrible avril lavigne references
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-23
Updated: 2018-12-23
Packaged: 2019-09-25 04:37:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,292
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17114615
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/enbyred/pseuds/enbyred
Summary: Somebody has to do something about Adrien and Ladybug so obviously pining after each other, and let's face it, it's gonna be Alix.





	Smoke 'Em Out

**Author's Note:**

> Merry Christmas to @dorleing! I was your ML Secret Santa. I had so much fun with this piece, and I hope you enjoy!

Something had to be done immediately. Every time Ladybug passed Alix’s window on her nightly patrols, she would always stop and stare at the billboard of Adrien across the street. It was annoying, but at least Alix could close her blinds to avoid seeing a superhero pine over a model. It was something she could ignore by just not looking outside.

But of course, she had gotten paired with Adrien for in-class work. That was fine, she got along with Adrien. The thing she couldn't ignore was the ladybugs he had doodled all over his worksheet. The first half of their working together, she just kept telling herself to ignore it, to keep her eyes on her own page. And Mme. Bustier wanted them to grade each other's worksheets. There were so many ladybugs. They were overflowing from the margins and invading the text space, obscuring the words of some questions. So many ladybugs. She wanted to take a point or two off for that, but chose to be gracious and give him the credit he deserved for every right answer.

In fact, she was going to go above and beyond for Adrien. And for Ladybug, too.

When class was dismissed for lunch, Alix slid out of her seat and plopped herself down on Nathanael’s desk.

“Adrien and Ladybug,” she began without giving him a chance to react to her sudden presence. “Thoughts?”

Nath pondered for a moment, turning the idea around in his head. “Sure, I’d ship it.”

Sighing, Alix said, “Okay, but in real life. I think they’re into each other, and honestly, they’re both too big of cowards to make a move.”

“Okay?” Nath shrugged. “What do you think you can do about that?”

“ _ We _ ,” Alix corrected, nudging him, “are going to push them together.”

Nath shook his head and started packing up his notebook and pencils. "No way. I'm not getting involved. It's none of our business."

Alix snorted and hopped down off the desk to follow him out of the classroom. "Like business being other people’s has stopped you from sticking your nose in it before. Or do I need to remind you about the time you really thought you were reading Ladybug's diary?"

"Okay, to be fair, Marinette was really cryptic about it. And come on, it was given to me to read, and it got me and Marc together." They stopped by the lockers to take their time putting their things away.

Shrugging, Alix said, "Whatever, I'm sick of watching Adrien and Ladybug pine after each other, so I'm gonna do everyone a favor and get them together. They'll be happy, and Nadja will finally have something to talk about." She extracted her roller blades from her locker and sat down to strap them onto her feet.

A few seconds of silence passed where Alix knew that Nath was about to break. He just needed to think about it from a couple different angles, and then…

"How would we even manage it?" There it was. He just needed to hear a plan. "We would have to get someone akumatized, wouldn't we? And since we're trying to push Ladybug to Adrien, we'd have to make Adrien a target, and that’s like kicking a puppy."

Alix rolled her eyes and stood, hands on her hips. "Nobody needs to get akumatized, we just need Ladybug and Adrien together." An evil smile crept onto her lips. "So let's make Ladybug  _ believe _  that he’s in danger."

Nath's eyebrows shot up in surprise. "What in the world do you have planned?"

Sighing, Alix prompted, "If Ladybug thinks that someone’s after Adrien, she’ll protect him."

"Ohh." The beginnings of a smile made its way onto Nath's face. "She won't leave his side for a second if she thinks someone's gonna be after him. We just have to cause the panic that makes her think it's necessary."

Alix winked and skated toward the door. "Now you're getting it. Come on, let's get lunch."

-

"It'll work, just trust me."

"A lot of plans that start with you telling me to trust you end _very badly_."

"You don't even have the embarrassing part! Just - ugh." Alix swatted Nath's hands out of the way and pulled a ski mask over his head. Her hair was sticking straight up and she wore dark eyeliner with a plastic mask bought from a costume shop, and an ensemble of ripped black tights, neon green shorts, a tight black shirt, and a studded silver belt with several small canisters latched onto it. Not exactly bold enough to pass as an akuma, in Nath's opinion, but they had to work with what they could. 

Pulling the ski mask off, Nath said, "All I have to do is spread the word of an Adrien-hating akuma, right? Why would I need the mask anyway? I’m plenty good at inciting panic without a mask.”

Standing up, Alix replied, “Do it your way, just make sure that word gets around that an akuma is after Adrien. We want Ladybug on the scene before anyone realizes I’m faking it.”

“Okay.” Nath’s lips twitched up in a mischievous smile. “And what is your akuma name? And the powers that’re gonna be so threatening to Adrien? It’s not believable unless you have those.”

Alix froze and stared at the ground. Nath was totally right. She had ideas in mind for her powers, but she needed an akuma name, which were usually absolutely ridiculous puns that killed Paris inside a little more each time. The question was if she should come up with something clever, or make a pun just as bad as Hawkmoth’s.

Instead, she spouted the first thing that came into her head. "Smokeroller."

Nath blinked at her, expression blank. "Sorry, _what_?"

"It works, okay?" Alix crossed her arms and tried to figure out how to defend it. "Roller skater, I've got colored smoke bombs, and I'm gonna - you know what? Just go with it. My powers are a smoke screen that like, makes people fall in love with me."

Holding his hands up in defense, Nath replied, "It's your grave, not mine. I will gladly wear this to avoid associating myself with you." He pulled the ski mask back over his head.

"Traitor."

"This was your idea."

Alix accepted her fate and shooed Nath away to go spread the word of Smokeroller. They'd recruited Kim and Rose to help them with the execution. There was no use in faking an akuma unless citizens saw someone being affected by it. Alix had guaranteed that she'd owe Kim later, and Rose was happy to do anything in exchange for things that smelled nice.

Skating out into a populated area, she activated a green smoke bomb, trailing the color behind her. She stopped and shouted, "I am Smokeroller! Adrien Agreste rejected me, but now everyone will love me!" The smoke bombs were definitely a good idea. As the smoke gathered around her, at least she wasn't identifiable.

Nath's fake-panicked voice in the distance caught her attention as he told people not to get near her smoke. Now she just had to find her partners in crime.

Just as they'd instructed, Kim was sitting on a bench, looking at his phone with headphones in, allegedly oblivious to what was going on around him. She skated toward him at full speed, only skidding to a stop when she was close enough to pass her smoke bomb in front of his face. He blinked, feigning surprise, and looked up at her with starry eyes, a grin making its way onto his face as he very obviously tried to fight back a laugh. If he could just hold off a few minutes, this could work.

Kim stood from his bench and started following Alix at a slow, ambling pace, like a zombie (or like someone hit by an akuma) while she skated away from him, trailing green in her path as citizens began to run from the scene. As she has instructed, Kim babbled things about love for Smokeroller and how she would never be second best. Hopefully no one else heard him choke back a laugh over saying "Smokeroller," but he was doing a great job anyway.

 

Alix saw her next target, Rose, walking happily along the sidewalk with large headphones over her ears. Careful to avoid catching other civilians in the smoke screen, she raced toward Rose to get close enough for her to breathe in the green smoke. Rose looked surprised before joining Kim in a love struck zombie trance, following behind Alix.

"You love me," Alix announced proudly. "Now you'll help me show Adrien Agreste that I'm worth loving. Come, now he'll join us."

Kim and Rose shouted Smokeroller's praises and enthusiastically followed behind as they traveled toward the Agreste mansion. Alix tossed smoke bombs to Kim and Rose for them to activate and act like they were going to help make people fall in love with Smokeroller. And just as planned, as they approached the Agreste house, there was a flash of red entering through a second-story window, and Ladybug swung out of the window a few moments later, Adrien in her arms. Just as planned. Ladybug's first priority would be getting Adrien to safety, so she wouldn't be concerning herself with Smokeroller for a while. All they had to do was keep the smoke going and maybe use her dad's money to bribe a couple people to pretend they were in love with her. It was fine, there was no real danger, and it was for a good cause.

The lack of Chat Noir on the scene making stupid jokes was strange, though. He would probably tell Ladybug that it was because not even an akuma could stop him from loving her, or something stupid like that.

"What's your plan when Ladybug actually shows up and tries to purify the akuma?" Kim asked quietly, waving his canister to spread red smoke.

Looking him in the eye, Alix replied, "Bold of you to assume I have a plan."

He snorted and replied, "Ladybug's gonna kill you, hope you know that."

Rose, giddily waving her smoke around, chimed in, "You're keeping the heroes of Paris on their toes! Even if it's rude to make fun of akumatization."

Alix skated ahead of them and replied, "I mean, it's not that bad since I've been akumatized. As have both of you, and you agreed to it, so you're not people to talk. Ladybug'll thank me one day."

The small gaggle of people waited near the Eiffel Tower, Alix occasionally shouting things demanding Ladybug show up with Adrien and give her what she deserved - the boy _and_  the miraculous. The area was clear of civilians, as most were hiding to avoid being affected, allowing them some space to goof off, Nath to join the group, and let Alix try to figure out how she was going to justify to Ladybug that she was an akuma without an object to break. 

Finally, a voice came from high on the Tower, Ladybug calling, "Stand down, Smokeroller! You're not getting Adrien!"

"I _deserve_  Adrien!" Alix shouted back. "I deserve to be the one he chooses, he's got his head in the clouds if he thinks that he's going to date you instead of me!"

Ladybug leaped down beams of the Tower, landing several yards away from the group, careful to avoid the smoke, and spun her yo-yo. "Adrien said he hasn't turned anyone down. What's really going on here? Adrien's not a liar, but I can't say the same about you."

Shrugging, Alix said, "He's saving face, obviously. He doesn't want to look bad, even though he laughed in my face and said he wanted to date you instead." She sneered and skated out from the multicolored smoke cloud. "He doesn't want to be known as the prep who turned down the skater. It's just too cliche, wouldn't you say?"

From behind her, Nath groaned and quietly said, "Please do _not_  start singing Avril Lavigne."

She turned on him and retorted, "I’m just a skater girl, and he said ‘see you later, girl.’"

"I hate you so much."

"No, you're supposed to love me right now."

Ladybug stopped spinning her yo-yo and let it drop to the ground. "Alix Kubdel? What - these people aren't actually affected by an akuma, and you - what are you _doing_?"

"That's for me to know," Alix retorted, "and you to find out. How was your time with Adrien?"

The heroine sputtered and tried to piece together what she had just learned. "I, he...wait, Alix, are you in love with Adrien?"

Alix snorted and replied, "No way, LB. But congratulations, you figured out I'm not an akuma, these people," she jabbed her thumbs toward the people behind her, "each made ten euros, and if everything went my way, I'll be seeing a lot fewer pining looks. I'm out." She didn't give Ladybug the chance to reply before spinning around and beginning to skate away at top speed, grabbing Nath's arm along the way to make him follow her.

The news that evening involved a press conference during which Ladybug, Chat Noir, and Mayor Bourgeois declared it a crime to fake akumatization, alongside a story from Nadja Chamack, who was very excited to tell about footage being caught of Ladybug slipping into Adrien Agreste's room through the window not long after Smokeroller's 'defeat.' Mission accomplished. For now.

Alix's phone pinged after she turned the TV off.

**_Nath:_ ** _ We're bad people. _

**_Alix:_ ** _ How so? Despite the obvious. _

**_Nath:_ ** _ I didn't even consider Marinette's feelings, she's been pining over Adrien forever. _

**_Alix:_ ** _ That's where phase two comes in. Or have you not noticed the way Marinette and Chat Noir look at each other? _


End file.
